Swinging guides
Swinging Guides: Straight Answers Before You Play
What the words mean, how the night works and what to do when it doesn't, written for couples and singles at every stage.
The things nobody tells you
Swinging is easy to start and easy to get wrong. These guides cover the conversations, the rules and the practical bits, so your first night out is a good one.
Find Swingers has been online since 2004, and the same questions come up again and again: how do we start, what does soft swap actually mean, what happens at a club, how do we find a third without being creepy about it. Each guide answers one of them properly, with the answer at the top and the detail underneath.
New to swinging? Start here
- What Is Swinging?
The lifestyle in plain words: soft swap, full swap, who does it and how it differs from an open arrangement.
- New to Swinging? A Beginner's Guide
Our guide to getting started: the conversation with your partner, boundaries, jealousy and the first experience.
- Swinging Terms Explained
Unicorns, bulls, hotwives, same room and the rest of the vocabulary you'll meet on profiles.
Meet people the right way
- Swinger Profile Tips
Photos, words and limits that get replies from the couples and singles you actually want.
- Your First Swinger Meet
Where to meet, what to say, how to agree limits and how to end the night well, whatever happens.
- Swinger Etiquette
The unwritten rules of clubs, parties and private meets, from asking first to keeping secrets.
- How to Find a Third
For couples looking for a single woman or man: where to look, what to say and how to treat them.
Pick a site you can trust
- Are There Any Good Swinger Sites?
Yes. The swinger sites and apps people actually use, side by side in one dated table.
- Is Find Swingers Legit?
How long we've been running, how profiles are checked and what you pay for.
- Find Swingers Compared
One page each against SDC, Fab Swingers, Swinging Heaven, Feeld, AdultFriendFinder and 3Fun.
Ready to go out and play?
Find the venues and the people: read how swingers clubs and swingers parties work, or browse swingers by place to see who lives near you.
Quick answers for first-timers
How do couples start swinging?
With a long, honest talk at home: what each of you wants, what is off limits and how you'll handle jealousy. Then a joint profile, a few chats with couples you like and a first meet over a drink with no expectations.
What should I read first?
Read what swinging is if the idea is new, the beginner's guide if you're a couple getting ready, and the etiquette guide before any club, party or private meet.
Can single people swing?
Yes. Single women and single men take part, usually by joining a couple. Couples set the terms, so a single who reads profiles carefully and respects limits gets far more replies.